Three Months, Three Stories

In the past few months, I was introduced to three inspiring women that really blew me away.  I think of them as celebrities, actually.  Although we barely know each other, I had the beautiful pleasure of working with each of them recently, and their stories haven't left my thoughts for a second.  

For the sake of confidentiality, I'll call them by the name of the month in which I made their lovely acquaintance...

April:  April is a professional, single mother who was recently diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. Preparing to enter her 2nd chemotherapy treatment, she contacted me and asked if I would be willing to cut her long hair, in anticipation for complete hair loss.

April brought her best friend with her to our appointment.  It was easy to keep the conversation light, and she let me have fun with a really short "Sharon Stone" style pixie and some product, and oh my, it was adorable on her!  She'd never had short hair in her 46 years of life, and she loved it, truly she did. But, after a few minutes of admiration, her large smile faded and the shadows reappeared in her eyes.

I'd hoped that the bottle of champagne and great shade of lipstick would help matters;  but in the end, April did not want to be distracted from the reality of her illness.  She knew the next chemo treatment would cause her to abruptly lose large amounts of hair, and she did not want to "wake up and see the clumps on my pillow each morning", she'd told me.  She needed her hair to be as short as possible.  I must say, she was strong, realistic, and honest about what was happening in that chair.  She sat gracefully with head high.  Her poise kept me focused on what needed to be done.  I hugged her, then turned her away from the mirror.
Deep breath.
Praying for a happy ending to this story.

May:  May is a splendidly tall, 87 year old woman who asked me to make her look "pretty like a Queen" for her grandson's wedding.  She arrived with her sparkly red nails, full head of white hair, and huge smile. May repeatedly talked about the silver dress that she would be wearing to the wedding later on that day and how she would be dancing with the most handsome man at the party.

She and her late husband were survivors of the Hungarian Revolution.  Immediately after marrying, the couple spent two weeks separated on a boat headed to America.  She spoke about the job boards in New York City, and how she refused to move to Texas because of the cowboys and Indians.  They settled in California because that's "where the moviestars lived."
She was funny without trying to be funny.  As I blew dry her hair, she firmly asked me not to "cook" her, then laughed hysterically at herself.  As time went on and she spoke in her thick accent, it became easier to understand her stories of life in California and working as a tailor for Nordstrom.  Her eyes lit up when she told me of her "Lifetime Discount"!

This story of the Queen May in her silver gown and red fingernails, dancing with her beloved grandson who looks so much like his grandfather, ends happily ever after.  Of course it does.

June:  I know the least about June.  When we met, we exchanged one of those handshakes that you just know is going to be followed by a hug. A long hug. She could not remember the last time she'd received a professional hair service.  Smiling behind her tears, she was incredibly grateful, but also nervous, to be sitting in my chair. June is so beautiful, but so broken.

Happy to have just taken a big step towards independence by signing an apartment lease, she's finally ready to re-enter the workforce.  June has small children, overdue bills, and big worries.  But she has even bigger dreams and tremendous potential.  It is my job, and my honor, to help her find the confidence to move towards those goals.

We are helping her story have a happy ending....and she will!

All three of these women came looking for the same thing... to feel GOOD.  Feeling good on the outside. On the inside. And even deeper still.  

Girls, all three of you are Rockstars.

Girls, we are ALL Rockstars!

Might be a "Talk", Could be a "Scream"

Ever since last month's debacle, I'd been considering abandoning this blogging project altogether.  Seemed silly to put the time, effort, the creativity and especially the honesty out there into cyberspace, only to have some pseudo-intellectual find and repost.

That just wasn't nice.  Why can't people just be nice?

Blogging is fun, it's real.  Writing how you feel, at the moment you're feeling it, it's pretty liberating for me.  Some blogs are pretty subject specific, some are well-thought, and some have no parameters (I'm a no-parameters kind of girl myself).  And there are some great writers out there, and I encourage anybody who appreciates a good quick (or sometimes not-so-quick) read to find a blog that interests him/her, subscribe and follow it.  My new fave is sexyfoodtherapy by Melissa Ramos...Talk about real;-)

Something big has been brewing around here the last year, fueled recently by the passion that surfaced from the above-mentioned experience.  A desire to infuse an opportunity for generosity and selflessness into the beauty industry.  A desire to fulfill a need and help a population that has been keeping herself invisible in our chairs.  Sad stuff, ya'll.

So in regards to WhisperTalkScream....here's what I've come up with:

WTS has created a new avenue, a MOVEMENT, in the beauty industry.  Better than a new product or tool.  WAY better than a new style or technique.  I can't say anything more right now, but our eyes will be opened to a concept more intelligent and original than anything that's come into the industry in decades.  How's them apples, Mr. Pseudo-Intellectual???

No abandonment here...just momentum.

Sitting here on this cold and rainy NJ night, it's a pleasure to just "put it out there", plain and simple.  Thank you for reading...and stay tuned!

The Colors of Conversation

Yesterday I found myself leaning up against the wall of the studio and observing a beautiful thing.  My youngest daughter was reluctantly sharing a piece of her art with my last client of the day, an art therapist who happens to be one of the most intelligent and eccentric people I've ever met.  The scene will forever live in my mind...Sophie looking up at the art therapist and listening so intently to her wise words....."Tell me what you were thinking when you made this?", "What is your favorite subject to draw?", "What is your favorite tool to draw with, markers, paints?"

Sophie answered very quickly, "Colored pencils."

"Me too!", my client agreed.  The door was opened!  Onward a conversation between a 58 year old adult and a 7 year old child perpetuated. They were speaking the same language, each giving 50% to the sweetest dialogue about art and creating and imagination.

As I listened and absorbed this scene,  amazed and proud, I was struck with a heartfelt gratitude.  I was so thankful for Sophie, my family, the art therapist.  I was appreciative for the clients of the day, the week, my business, the floor beneath my feet, even my damn blow-dryer.  A crazy thing happens within these four walls here.  We learn, and we are enlightened, clients, myself, and my children included.

So....Sophie woke me up this morning WAY too early asking to go to the art supply store for watercolor paper.  Dreaming of coffee and still half asleep, I agreed.
"Mom, did you know that with watercolors, purple travels the fastest and yellow the slowest?"
Yawn..."Where'd you learn that, Soph?"
"The art therapist taught me that yesterday.  Are you ready to go yet?"

To be a part of this network, this family, who contribute to and influence each member is a gift.  Sincerest thanks.  We learn from each other...about hair, art, health, and being human.  Let us take these conversations and experiences with us, making us better, more tolerant and open, better friends, sisters, mothers and people.

So much love!

The Root of It All...

Yes, I'm a hairstylist.  But no, I don't want to discuss the latest trends, the best color shampoos, or styling products.  On my computer are numerous drafts on these very topics, all having come to dead ends (no pun intended!).  And then, just this morning, frustrated once again by "writer's block", I purposely asked myself why I love my job, and what do I want to celebrate in writing about it?  That's when I demanded from myself an honest answer.

Without hesitation, that answer was PEOPLE.  That's why I started this blog, and that's why I love my craft, this industry, and the reason I am grateful every single day.

We are all on this wild journey together.  The best part about my job is working with people to bring their beauty to the surface on the outside AND on the inside.  It is listening and learning about how people want to affect the world, what they want to be when they "grow up",  books that have inspired them, how they raise their children.  Many are waiting to launch these children into the world before jumping back into the workforce, and most are chomping at the bit to do so.  Many are dealing with the ups and downs of marriage, aging parents, illnesses.  As I listen to clients, I realize they are sharing their lives with me....that's HUGE.  Sharing is brave, it requires trust.  So I feel that giving them undivided attention is as much a part of my job as giving them great color.

In my future posts, I am going to focus on the connections and discussions that take place in the studio.  (Of course, anonymously).  I want to celebrate these brave people who are walking on the same earth as you and me, just on different paths.

And guess what...It doesn't matter if my audience is 7 or 7,000.  What is important to me is conveying that no matter WHAT we do for a living or as a trade, we are all human first.  Exploring and celebrating that commonality is what I get to do every day, and in my studio is where our paths come to cross.

Welcome!

Life Lessons Behind the Chair

Growing up in suburban NJ in the 1970's, my friends' fathers had typical dad-like occupations.  Engineers, accountants, insurance salesmen.  They would leave for their 9 to 5 jobs carrying briefcases, having secretaries, riding in elevators with all the other dads in suits and ties.
Not mine...
My father was a hairdresser.
He permed his hair, listened to disco, and spent his days with a very colorful group of employees.   He co-founded the most prestigious salon in the tri-state area of that time, grew that business, and moved on down the road....literally.
He has since developed and owned multiple salons in central New Jersey.  Having experienced first-hand his life-long dedication to this profession we share, I have come to possess a certain conviction about the following lessons to live and do business by:

1. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.  Keep positive chit-chat behind the chair, no negative talk.  Not only is it a downer, but  not-so-nice talk can come back to bite you.
2. Less is more...
3. It costs more to be "right" than to be "wrong".  Unhappy clients, and unhappy people, are inevitable.  Sometimes it's smarter and more profitable to let them go than to keep trying to please.  
4. Be grateful.  Appreciate loyal clientele.  And remember, a satisfied client is a potential source of referrals.  
5. Believe in your worth.  
6. Learn something new every day.  EVERY day.
7. Listen to your clients.  Get to know them.  When considering a new style or color, it's extremely important to consider lifestyle, maintenance, and other factors that could interfere with the her enjoying her new look. 
8. Enjoy coworkers, celebrate differences!
9. Cut family members hair extra short so they don't return as often for freebies! (I had to include this one for fun!)
10. "Whisper, Talk, or Scream" has always been the question my father asks his client during a consultation to help her describe how she'd like her color/highlight.  I happen to think this is GENIUS and adopted it myself.  My clients always smile when I ask the question because they can completely understand the language.  As hairdressers, we talk in coppers and neutrals, strange letters and numbers.  Using a language that the client can understand is key to finding out what she really wants!

This profession is not only about hair, it's about building relationships.  My father has been in this business for 45 years, and I'm amazed every time I hear or see one of his many clients who has been loyal to him since his beginning.  A constant character in their life story, he has been present to celebrate births, console losses, and a myriad of events in between. Through our trade, we have the opportunity to enter into and remain in our clients lives, making lifelong friendships.

We are so fortunate to be in a profession where we have the opportunity to make a difference not only on the outside, but on the inside.  Enjoy it!